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Author believes Daniella’s shocking story about forced marriage can pave the way – Dagsavisen

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It’s a strong and painful story, this – how did you feel having it told by Daniella?

– It has been a shocking experience. As a journalist for many years, I have spoken to several sources about the culture of honor and social control, so I knew a lot about it in advance, but this still affected me strongly. After conversations with her over so much time, with so many details about the brutality of what she has experienced from physical violence and sexual abuse, but not least also what it has done to her psychologically over time.

– Ever since she was a small child, this culture has characterized her. From when in kindergarten she began to see how girls were of less value – her mother was a so-called “girl machine” – and for example on the first day of school noticed how her father did not care about the event that other parents expressed pride and closeness to by hugging their children and take pictures of them. And to the fact that family relationships were damaged and broken as a result of what she was exposed to as an older child. It has been painful for me too. I now myself have daughters aged 13 and soon 17, who are therefore the same age as Daniella was when she was forced into marriage and when she broke out. The two completely different realities are geographically and temporally not that far apart.

What does thinking about it do to you?

– I have been fed up. I have wanted to go back in time and just fix this for the little girl, because I have felt a great deal of care for her as a child. I have also been cursed at the system in which Daniella was trapped, and angry that the degradation and abuse are allowed to play out behind the facade of Norwegian society – behind that door and i that house next door.

THE NEWS INTERVIEW: Marte Spurkland (47)

  • Marte Spurkland is a Norwegian editor, journalist, presenter and author. She is current with the recently published book “1178 nights. The story of a forced marriage”, about Daniella, a Norwegian-Iraqi refugee who was forcibly married off to her cousin as a 13-year-old – in an apartment in Oslo. The case is considered by many to be the most serious forced marriage case in Norway ever.
  • The book raises questions about how this could take place in Norway, in our time. Where can you escape when your immediate family won’t help you? And how do you come out alive from a youth characterized by shame, abuse and threats?
  • Spurkland made her debut in 2005 as a non-fiction author with “Førstedamer – an educational journey in women’s life” at Aschehoug publishing house. In 2007, she was editor of the dictation anthologies “Love” and “Grief” at Humanist publishing house and author of “Fate Journey: A Norwegian-Russian love story” at Damm publishing house. In 2017, she was nominated for the Brage prize for “Klassen. Tales from a school year”, published by Cappelen Damm. In 2019, she published “Pappa’s runes” at the same publisher.

How did she tell?

– She is sober and tells very straight forward and fact-based. She also has a sense of humor, so we’ve laughed together – among other things about male and female roles and the difference between life out among people and at home. We’ve also had a bit of black humor in it all, even though it probably sounds a bit strange. The fact that she has that quality is probably also part of what has made her able to be the resistance fighter I see her as.

Why did you want to write this story?

– I wanted to tell Daniella’s story for many reasons. Today we may see a new openness about the topic, including in several books, which Daniella herself was inspired by when she wanted to tell. She had to juggle a lot while trapped in the system, and wanted to avoid harming her family for a long time. Now I think that as a society we have a courage to touch rather than a fear of touch, and I would like to be part of that. I thought, as a journalist, that this is a story that is extremely important for the Norwegian public and for the other girls who experience something similar to what Daniella has experienced. For them, it is so important to have some role models, who show that it is possible to break out of a reality you don’t want to be in.

Author believes Daniella’s shocking story about forced marriage can pave the way – Dagsavisen

– I’ve been thinking about Pippi while I’ve been talking to her – the world’s strongest girl who doesn’t let herself be broken. Daniella’s story is also important for us as a society to relate to the topic of honor culture and to know that it actually happens. Then it must be said that Daniella did not have time to have children in the system she was trapped in, and that this made a big difference in terms of why she was able to break out. She has also been clear about that herself.

Is this the most difficult book you’ve written, considering that you’ve written about trauma before?

– Yes, it is. Daniella has trauma and bad memories that she remembers in distressing detail, but many other details from her surroundings are often gone. It has been a big challenge, as I have poked at a lot that has been tough for her and cost her quite a bit, even though she was clear that she wanted it.

What considerations have you taken as a result?

– I have tried to proceed slowly, carefully and thoughtfully, and at the same time be there and follow up. Without me losing my journalistic perspective, we have gotten to know each other well, as this is relational work. It has been nice. She is a super lady.

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What was the most difficult thing you had to decide on while working on the book?

– The most nerve-wracking thing for me was that Daniella wanted to come forward with her name and face. Daniella is the name she took herself with her new identity. However, she chose to omit the last name, in part because of the security risk and to shield family members who have been convicted and have served time. It is not really the family and individuals that she sees as the counterpart, but the patriarchy and the conservative system of which they are a part. She lived on code 6 for many years and it had been a long time since a proper security assessment had been carried out. We had to assess risk in several ways and I have had to think about it a lot.

– She was clear herself that she wanted to stand up. She said she was tired of hiding and wouldn’t let “those men who might want to threaten women into silence” win. You have to respect that. We have also consulted with professionals who know honor culture and its psychology as well as honor crimes, in addition to having an apparatus around Daniella. But for me, her openness has been a nerve-wracking journey. At first I thought it was really cool and that it was something that would make this book particularly powerful. Then I got scared for her along the way and started thinking about the worst case scenario of the risk she was running.

Editor, journalist and author Marte Spurkland has written the recently published book

How have you and the publisher assessed anonymisation, scope of sources and correspondence?

– We have not spoken to the convicts along the way, which was a security assessment. Daniella has the right to tell her story, which she has been allowed to do, but I also have a lot of documentation from other sources. I have read case documents totaling 2,000 pages. Police interrogations have been useful to read to confirm the scenes she had described and how the convicts explained themselves. I have otherwise talked a lot with one of her former teachers, a minority advisor, the child protection agency with their documentation and UDI, among others. The anonymization that has been done is for the sake of the family. Those who knew her and the case will know, but not everyone outside. It was important to us. The teacher is, for example, anonymous for the same reasons.

Who did you consult with besides the publisher?

– Among the professionals I mentioned, psychologist Pia Aursand, who specializes in treating families within the culture of honour, has been important. Hina Lie Qazi-Aarud has also been an important adviser. She has worked in the aid system, but also has a background in culture of honor and social control herself. She knows a lot about what she calls the “why children” – the children who ask questions and are critical and what that leads to. There is power in asking why.

What was most important to you in the writing process?

– The most important thing about the story was to capture Daniella’s mentality, language and form of expression, so that it would become her story. I also wanted to bring out the heroic quality in her. She is, after all, a warrior and a woman of resistance, who was exposed to all kinds of overwhelming force but still stood up. She is a role model for the other girls, but really a role model for all of us. I also wanted to make it clear that even though she is critical of the environment she grew up in, she thinks there was a lot of good in it too. Like the cohesion, for example.

What consequences do you think or hope the story may result in?

– I hope that Daniella’s story can contribute to more courage to touch. It is time to be brave instead of anxious. Daniella is, and the book is. I also hope that it will have meaning for the other girls. The figures from the national competence team against negative social control and honour-related violence show that we as a society have not overcome the culture of honour. They had close to 1,300 cases related to forced marriage from 2015 to 2023. In addition, I hope that more of us will be brave enough to report, that Daniella can inspire more people to tell their stories and that she becomes a person in the public eye and can continue to tell.

What reactions have you gotten so far? From who/where?

– I have received a bit of everything, including inquiries from a couple of girls who have experienced something of the same and want to tell. And besides the fact that the book is well read in libraries, it has been picked up by some young influencers. Thus, it is also shared on social media. I haven’t had any negative reactions, but it’s certainly common according to the professionals. It is not perceived that it is me as a writer who fails the culture of honor and not me who runs the risk of reactions.

What about Daniella?

– She has had some reactions, but not in the form of threats. Fortunately, she has received more love than hate. Perhaps the Norwegian diversity society was ready for this openness? In that case, it’s very nice. She has received feedback from her larger growing up environment, from girls who say they are proud of her, support her and who have had similar experiences.

Editor, journalist and author Marte Spurkland has written the recently published book

What do you think is the most important thing Norwegian society should learn from Daniella’s story?

– Among other things, I write about the “neighbourhood”. Daniella juggled and gambled a lot while trapped in the system, but she wished someone would intervene. And there was someone who could have done that if they had followed along. Society should learn lessons in such a way that we learn about more signs to look for, that we are more curious and care more and that we dare to go close to the private sphere. We should become more alert to the people around us. It is claimed that fear of touch can just as well be about respect for other cultures and traditions.

Respect or fear?

– Maybe both. As a people, we also don’t like to believe the worst about people. But if it makes us forget basic human rights… Daniella didn’t even get to do her homework!

Do you have more book projects going on?

– No, now I’m going to breathe a little, then we’ll see. The book about Daniella was written in parallel with a full-time job in H magazine for humanism, where I am editor. Now I need to be able to be a little more of a lover, friend and mother.

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