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The meeting with women and children exposed to violence was the start of Kristin’s life project – Dagsavisen

Whose: Kristin Skirt (66)

What: Violence researcher and criminologist

Why: Recently made a Knight of the 1st class by the Royal Norwegian St. Order of Olav. Led Norway’s largest research program on violence in close relationships. Important contributor to the development of Norway’s first crisis center and Europe’s first treatment facility for men who commit violence in close relationships.

The Royal Norwegian St. Olav’s Order is awarded to Norwegians who have distinguished themselves “for the country and humanity”. How does it feel to receive such an award for your work against violence in close relationships?

– Absolutely overwhelming. After I retired last year, I have thought a lot about how lucky I have been to have been able to work with what I am passionate about throughout my professional career. This also came on top. It’s a great recognition that shows people have seen what I’ve done. In addition, it is a clear honor for all those who work to combat violence in close relationships. The appointment also helps to raise the issue.

Were you at the Palace and met the King or Crown Prince Haakon?

– No, I wasn’t at the Castle. I received the order from the Palace’s head of chancellery Mette Tverli at the National Knowledge Center for Violence and Traumatic Stress. But as a recipient of St. Olav’s Order, you can apply for an audience with the King. I haven’t done it yet, but I’m considering doing it.

How would you define violence in close relationships?

– From the beginning of the 2000s, it has been a term for violence and abuse that occurs in the home. This includes several types of abuse and can include both men, women and children. Children’s violence against elderly parents are also examples of what this includes.

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Of everything you have contributed to the field, what are you most proud of?

– It is difficult to single out one thing. I have largely been free to focus on what I myself think has been important and where I believe we have lacked knowledge. But I think I have made an effort and achieved things. For example, in recent years I have worked with parental disputes – what we previously referred to as child distribution after a break-up. My research has contributed to changing the Children’s Act so that children have been given greater protection against violence and abuse.

In addition, I have worked on more controversial issues, such as questioning whether it is possible to fight violence in close relationships through the legal system. Of course, domestic violence must be punished. Nevertheless, prevention and other measures aimed at both victims and perpetrators of violence must have an important place in this work.

What makes this work mean so much to you?

– I started working at a crisis center in Oslo in 1979 while I was studying at Blindern. The meetings with women and children who were exposed to violence and abuse awakened a strong commitment in me. That was the start of my life project. Several of those I worked with at the time have also chosen a career path based on what they saw and experienced at Norway’s first crisis centre, established in Oslo in 1978.

Two years before this, three Norwegian women had participated in a tribunal in Brussels. They took home the idea of ​​establishing a crisis center for women in Norway. But first they had to prove to the Norwegian authorities that such a need existed. This was the reason why a crisis telephone line was established. After one year, they had documented that violence in close relationships was not only a problem abroad but also in Norway. Within five years, the work had grown into a grassroots movement that spread to the entire country with close to 50 shelters and crisis telephones.

When the government’s first action plan against mistreatment of women came out in 1983, mistreatment of women in Norway was made visible, politicized and established as a social problem on the authorities’ agenda.

The meeting with women and children exposed to violence was the start of Kristin’s life project – Dagsavisen

It has previously been said of you that the core of your work is the desire that victims of violence should be met with recognition and respect. That their lives will be better. Where does Norway stand in this work today?

– Seen in a 40-year perspective, a lot has happened. Violence against women, children and men is recognized as a problem. It is no longer met with disbelief, but as something that is taken very seriously. The scope of various aid measures and the professionalism of the aid apparatus has changed dramatically. But we still have a job to do. In the Støre government’s latest action plan “Free from violence” (2021-2024), violence in close relationships is referred to as a societal problem, a public health problem and one of society’s biggest equality challenges.

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Violence in close relationships affects regardless of social class. Can you say a little about this type of violence as a phenomenon?

– To put it briefly; the close relationship between perpetrator and victim is what makes this type of violence so distinctive. Children depend on their parents. For both women and men, the closest relationships usually start with falling in love and love before the violence occurs. Different types of bonds and feelings make violence from our loved ones much more complex and complicated than other violence. The consequences are usually very large on so many levels.

In a meeting with women and children exposed to violence at a crisis centre, what made the most impression?

– The insecurity they feel when the home, which is supposed to be our safe haven, poses a serious threat. Second, how difficult it can be to detach. Many are trapped in the situation for various reasons. For many, it can take a long time from the time they seek help for the first time until they decide to break out.

Are there still shame and taboos associated with being exposed to this type of violence?

– Yes, I think many people feel that. Violence in close relationships is a break with everything you dreamed of and hoped would become. We have come a long way when it comes to removing the sense of guilt and responsibility from the victims, but we are by no means there.

Where do we have the greatest potential for improvement in the fight against violence in close relationships?

– We need more expertise and knowledge about how best to deal with this type of violence. In addition, I think we need to go back a bit to the beginning and give the shelters even greater financial latitude. It is absolutely crucial for them to be able to be there for everyone who needs them.

How can each of us contribute to stopping violence in close relationships?

– We must be aware that this happens, and that it can happen in the family, among friends or colleagues at work. It’s not just something happening out there somewhere. We must also be less afraid to care. If those experiencing the problems perceive that you are a safe person to lean on, it may also be easier to open up.

What makes you happy?

– The feeling of happiness consists in feeling joy in what you do in everyday life. For me it can be a walk in the forest or time with friends and family. I think small joys in everyday life are basically what give us a good feeling of happiness.

Who was your childhood hero?

– Nothing special.

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What do you dislike most about yourself?

– I’m not good at cleaning the house. I always wash in stages. This means that the whole house is never cleaned at the same time. For a period I had laundry help and came home to a completely clean house. It was an experience.

What do you do when you poop?

– I think it’s fun to travel to new, exciting places. But it can also be sitting on the sofa and devouring a series. Most recently “So long Marianne” on NRK. The series is based on the love affair between Norwegian Marianne Ihlen and the musician Leonard Cohen. Afterwards, I threw myself at Axel Jensen’s book Ikaros, which I had on the bookshelf, and went to the library and borrowed a book about Axel Jensen. I went into it in many different ways. Libraries are a gift to the people that we should make more use of.

What are you willing to march against?

– Violence, sexual abuse, oppression and injustice against people. Both in Norway and the rest of the world.

Is there anything you regret?

– No, not really.

Who would you rather be stuck in the elevator with?

– Author Erika Fatland. Right now I’m reading The Mariner. It is fantastic. She has an impressive ability to intertwine past and present. Would have liked to listen more to her thoughts and reflections.

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